First of all, I can't believe this boy is 10! Can you? That means it's been a long seven years since we received his diagnosis. This birthday was bittersweet for me.
Dallin is still hardly talking at all and I know that I shouldn't put limitations on him but I had, in my mind, set this arbitrary deadline by which I just knew he would be talking more. For me, that deadline was his 10th birthday. I set this deadline after talking to another Mom whose son was basically non-verbal and then, at around 10-years-old something clicked and he started talking in sentences. I just knew that would happen for Dallin! Except, depressingly, it hasn't. I have never talked to a Mom whose kid started talking after 10 years old and I have to admit, it's really hard for me to keep on hoping. I know how much better Dallin's life will be as he grows older if he can communicate verbally and I WANT that for him SO BAD I can taste it.
We sang Happy Birthday to Dallin when we had Thanksgiving with my side of the family. On Dallin's actual birthday we got him balloons - which he loves- and he opened a few presents and we sang to him again (he has always loved that song).
The highlight of Dallin's birthday occurred one week after the actual date when the Primary kids sang to him at church. Dallin went to the front of the primary, put on the birthday hat and sticker and smiled as big as day while the kids sang him, "The Birthday Song". He can't sing with them but he loves to "direct" them and move his arms with the music. As he stood in front of them he moved his arms and smiled at them, obviously overjoyed at the attention they were giving him. I watched the other kids and saw the look on their faces - I could tell that they were touched by Dallin's infectious spirit. It made me fall in love with this boy of mine all over again. I love that sparkle in his eyes when he smiles. I love the way he is so open and loving towards everyone he meets. I love the way he laughs and how he is so uninhibited and unashamed of showing love. I love that he exudes this specialness that you can't quite put your finger on.
So even though my heart is full of sadness at times, I have to remember the bigger picture. Dallin can be difficult to love and difficult to care for but loving Dallin and caring for Dallin is also the best thing I have ever done in my life. He has taught me about charity in it's purest form. I will always be thankful and joyous for that.
