What I Was Meant To Do

I'm going to make the understatement of the year and say that being Dallin's mom isn't easy. Sometimes it's downright depressing. Like this morning. I got myself and the kids all ready to go to church hoping that we'd all be able to go together. It didn't take me long to realize that it wasn't going to happen today. There are some days when Dallin is so disregulated that he hums really loud and visually stims on toys so bad that the poor guy turns red. I knew he wasn't going to able to handle church today. I couldn't help it, I felt so frustrated, and I broke down. It can be so discouraging when you're trying so hard to do what you think God wants you to do and you can't do it. Some days I want a miracle so desperately.

Todd took the girls to church so I could help Dallin. I tried some of his biomedical interventions and played with him and a few hours later, he calmed down. I had a quiet moment so I picked up a little book my Mom gave me for Mother's day by Marjorie Hinckley. In it she asks women the question, "Is this what God wants you to do?" All at once I was flooded with the spirit which seemed to wrap it's arms around me and tell me quite forcefully, "Being Dallin's Mom is what you were meant to do." I can't tell you how thankful I am for that affirmation.

I think that's what all God fearing people want - to know that what we are doing is what God would have us do. Somehow it doesn't matter how physically hard, spiritually stretching or mentally draining things are - if you know you're doing what you were meant to do.

After I finished crying my eyes out I felt much better. Dallin was feeling better too and I got these beautiful shots of my handsome, handsome boy. What a better person I am for having him as my son. We're in this journey together - he and I - and I know that this is what I was meant to do.

The Best Little Therapist

 We were blessed this year to have Dallin attend the homeschool program with his sisters. In his last IEP (that took place last month) we found out that Dallin will be able to keep his homeschool placement again! All the teachers and therapists involved with Dallin agreed that this was the right placement for him and I am THRILLED.

We had our end-of-the-year celebration for the homeschool last week. Dallin needs some assistance when he participates with the other kids to keep him focused and help him understand what he's supposed to do. Dallin's therapist couldn't come until later so Maya filled in until she got there. The kids were playing a scooter-board relay and Maya assisted Dallin. I took these photographs while I was tearing up about what a wonderful sister Maya is to Dallin. I am so thankful for her. She's helped to take care of Dallin since she was 2 years old and I know she will help care for him her whole life.

Ava's Dancing!

Ava started dancing and singing to music this month. She was dancing so well until I started filming! You can't see much of her skills in this video but it shows her cute little personality that's beginning to blossom. . .

Chloe's Commericials

I remember pretending to make commericals when I was a kid (remember dear sisters?). It cracks me up when I see Maya and Chloe do it. Chloe was in the car the other day snacking on chips and making a commercial so I snapped a little video of it to share.

Softball Season

Chloe's softball season ended a couple of weeks ago. I took these pictures at her last game. She had a wonderful time. I don't know if we'll play again (Chloe has a whole list of sports she wants to try) but it was a good experience for her. And she looked pretty darn cute in her uniform too! :)

Playing Softball is Hard Work

Serious Softball Stance

Enjoying the Game

A Little Bored

Chloe Turns 7!

 A few days ago my sweet Chloe turned 7 years old. I think one of the hardest things for a Mom with lots of kids is to give individual time to each of her children. When I go to bed at night I often think about whether or not I neglected any of my little ones during the day. I try not to feel guilty about it. Chloe has had an especially difficult year since Ava's birth because she's had to give up some of her individual time. She also had to give up her "baby in the family" status. There have been many emotional days, lots of tears and hugs and extra loving needed. I realize that these trying times are so important, they have made me even closer to Chloe than I was before (if that's possible). Helping her learn to trust her family when things are tough is an invaluable lesson.

Chloe amazes me and entertains me and makes me laugh. She is funny and witty and so very sweet. She is a writer, a dreamer, and incredibly ambitious. You never have to wonder what Chloe is thinking or feeling, she wears her heart proudly on her sleeve.  I admire her strength, her passion, and her independence.  I love this little girl more than words can express. 

Chloe didn't want to a birthday party this year. She wanted to go on a shopping spree (like Maya did last year) instead. She wanted a "7" dress so I made her one. She also wanted me to take her out and take photos of her. We went for a walk around Woodbridge lake and took tons of pictures, the ones I posted are my favorite. Instead of a cake she wanted ice cream sundaes, so I made edible cookie bowls to put her sundaes in and they were yummy!